| 7/7/2004 |
[Jul. 7th, 2004|10:19 pm] |
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It's our anniversary and we broke up. He says he just wanna be 'friends'. |
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| Tiring week |
[Jun. 26th, 2004|03:01 pm] |
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Oh man. This week is like 'party week' I haven't had enough sleep i just go and go and go somewhere people invite with their stuff BAAAH. i'm so tired. thank god i'm relaxing now. I went jamming with leo the other days i forgot i lost track of the dates anyway, then gus took me out somewhere we went to his cousins house, and last thursday I went to pool party with the gang and sarah just went nuts..ruined the whole party, made everyone crazy. Anyway after that drama she slept over to my house and i was being extra nice to her so that she won't trip and to make her feel good and make her realize that someone actually cares. We lost the keys for the apartment, car and house lol I didn't know it was in my purse We were all crazy looking for it till 11 pm then we went to my house. Anyway, Gus didn't come there, but this friday before I went to Stephanie's party we saw david while me and sarah were walking to her house and talked bout memories bout my ex school and stuff. Memories. Then we went to the party and it was fun at first when we ate at Islands, then when we were about to watch a movie, gus and johnny came and ARGH. People started tripping because johnny was there crap then everyone started having their own problmes because some of their boyfriends didn't come and someone's parents were tripping It was HORRIBLE. i feel sorry for stephanie, she's the only probably decent person there, it was her bday party and everyone was just tripping. And then Gus almost had a row with Gid it was weird. CRAZY i tell ya. At least it's all over now. ha. crazy week. this might happen again. OH yeah we saw mike and amber and they went in illegaly lol. it was funny. |
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| I love Gus |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|05:28 pm] |
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We went out today :) weeeee he's soooo awesome and fine and he's just really perfect. I dunno. LOL. anyway, i didn't get to take my driving test this saturday.. because WE WERE LATE. anyway, i'm gonna take it this july 7. MAN. I'm going to stephanie's b-day party this friday and sarah's pool party this thursday. MAN. I don't even know if I'm gonna come to sarah's pool thingy, I just want gus to come HAH. he told me he wanted to get some icecream on a hot night NYAHAHA. Like what we did before...Man. I think I love him. |
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| Morning Sickness |
[Jun. 17th, 2004|12:18 pm] |
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It's only 12 pm and I already got something. My mom woke me up at 9 am telling me to help her with the laundry, so I did. Then she started bitching how lazy I am, waking up at 9 am which is too late for her. Then I drove to laundromat, she was with me, and did all the washing. She left me while I was doing it all by myself she went to somewhere I don't know. Anyway, so after like 2 hours the laundry was done and she came back the time I was folding them. Then we went home and I told her i'm gonna sleep for a little bit and put the folded clothes later in the drawers. While I was sleeping she came inside the room and started waking me up and nagging on how I don't help her because I'm always lazy and always inside the room, that all I care about is my own self and she started calling me an abusive and ireesponsible daughter. She told me to go back to where I came from and she started blaming the internet, gus, and the parties I go to on why I've become "this" way. She said alot of stuff that hurt me so bad again, I told her i'm pissed at her. I left the room and instead of having my rest, I ended up crying in the bathroom. She does this to me probably like every day. Even before we moved here she still does that, that's probably why I never really gotten close to her. Sometimes I just want to overdose myself and just get fucked up because I think that's what she wants anyway. From the way she talks to me about stuff it's like she hates me or something. I dunno. Proably because she likes my brother more or something. And I think when she got me she expected something from me but I didn't meet her expectations. Anyway, one day I just wanna come home all fucked up tell her "Mom I got high last night from coc, lsd and meth, I'm pregnant and I just killed 4 people" hahaha. That's just what she probably wants to hear from me anyway because she just doubts everything I do. She suspects all of my friends as druggies and she always gives me lecture everyday of the dark things that would happen if I got raped and how it would affect my dad's reputation blah blah blah whenever I talk to Gus. Sometimes I just wish that it was me who got hit by that train and died instead of my cousin. |
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| Sarah's Bday |
[Jun. 16th, 2004|10:52 pm] |
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Yay school is over :) then after i went to renee's house because sarah's bday's gonna be there. Woot i saw gus and we cuddled and snuggled. We ate and played some games. Anyway, then we went to the youthgroup but gus and johnny didn't go with us. Gideon wasn't there either. argh. I'm so tired. haha...me, gus, johnny and sarah were kinda like messin around; gus piggy-back carried me and johnny did it to sarah, then sarah and me kicked each other while we were on their backs. haha. It was fun, gus was just running around and johnny was chasing after us and it was cool i was just riding on his back haha. I miss him :(. |
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| Both sad and happy |
[Jun. 15th, 2004|08:05 pm] |
Dude...I took the test for algebra 2, I got a d. It sucks but oh well
good thing i still got a B- for the whole grade in the class. So
anyways, i wasn't expecting it but Gus called me and we went out with
Allen, he's a pretty cool guy :). We left at 2 pm and came back at 7:34
pm. Man. Gus is like so awesome. I swear. He's probably the bestest bf
I've had. Mike is one of the bestest but we never went out :/ so oh
well. So yeah we went to old town, mall and stuff :) i just came back
and now I miss him again. Oh well I'm gonna see him probably tomorrow
at Sarah's bday party. heee... |
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| He got shot |
[Jun. 14th, 2004|09:12 pm] |
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My mom just told me today that my the friend of my dad's bestmate got shot because he accepted bribe from accused, but the accuser knew what happened between him and the criminal, so they waited for him to get out and they shot him. The accused was really guilty, but he turned it over and sentenced him not guilty. |
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| Another one |
[Jun. 14th, 2004|08:55 pm] |
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My mom started goin gaga again. She started me off at 7 am telling me that she told my dad about me and gus, but she does not know that we're going out YET. My dad told her that we can't date yet till i'm 18, which pissed me off. She told me that I should know him really well first, and I told her I've known gus, and she told me to know him more. Well then by the time I'm 18, i'm off to college, and i'm probably be in the Philippines by then. Then she told me that I MIGHT NOT go to the phils...which pissed me off again because before she was all being dramatic on how I am definitely going back there for college because it's 'cheaper' and I already have my C.A.P there. I don't know why she tries to confuse me like that. I mean, I don't wanna do extra work in here filling up fucking college applications when I know I'm not gonna be here for college. Then I told her if I'm gonna study here, then I'm not gonna study nursing. She was stopped and i think she was shocked. She really wants me to study nursing, because she tells me alot of people earn really well in nursing and I should take it too. She tells all of my relatives back there in phils that they should take nursing too. I told her that I'm not going to take it, because I don't like nursing at all. "All you want is money" I told her that, which is true. I can do other jobs than nursing which will probably earn the same. She knows I don't like taking care of people I don't know why she pushes me too much into nursing. I'm not that patient either. She tells me "It's about the job!! alot of people needs nurses and you can help them!!" / AND GET BIG FUCKING DOLLARS WITHOUT EVEN CARING IF YOU LIKE THE JOB OR NOT. Anyway, for some odd reason I just can't stop crying like before. I thought I wasn't gonna talk to her for 3 days again but thank god I have friends who do stupid things that made me laugh. I don't know. I guess fighting with her just would not do anything good i guess. But then she won't listen to what I really want to do, she's fixed on me being a nurse. I don't think I can change that since I'm not really an american I'm not really that 'free' when I reach 18. |
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| Forbidden |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|08:19 pm] |
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I went hangin out at Old Town with Tina, Danielle, that one chic and Marie. It was cool but I missed Gus ALOT while we were there. Anyway, Gus called me and I wasn't home. When I got home, I called him, and then he told me that his family wants to meet me...O.O..i'm so scared. Anyway, his cousin goes to Monrovia, and I actually know her. I didn't know that she's his cousin. strange. Man. I wish my mom wouldn't trip when a guy calls this house. Everytime a guy calls me, she asks alot of questions and gets all paranoid...then tomorrow she'll start talking to me about rape cases, drugs, violence...not knowing that last night she probably spent 3 hours talking to my relatives that guys are calling me and asking for their advice. Then my relatives will just brainwash her telling her "OH..This is America..it's different here.." blah blah except for the tight ones like my two cousins who are always on my side. I just wanna tell her "MOM. Do you really think America is worse than philippines? with all that corruption, civil wars, gang violence and rape, uncontrolled bribe-minded police, very untidy environment and chaos...Do you really think America is worse?" I'm just pissed at her right now. I started smart talking her at everything she tells me, when she asks me questions and all that. Like awhile ago she was like "My stomach is aching again.." and I said "Then freaking go to the hospital." she was like "No...It's expensive over here.." and then I said "Then stop complaining". I swear. I can't take that stupidity. |
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| "War is waged by nations...It is but the humans who pay the price" |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|02:54 am] |
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It's 3 am and I just finished watching Helen of Troy... it is a good movie. I had problems with math...thank god Mike helped. Seriously, that guy is probably the smartest person I've ever met lined up with Sir Ronald who predicted the birth of my brother. But I would rather consider Mike as an intellectual being, probably not how I see Sir Ronald. He is rather strange. Anyway, I talked to Gus today, and planned different stuff...:) I miss him so much. |
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| Hapi day |
[Jun. 9th, 2004|07:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  flirty | ] |
I'm so hapi...i dunno i'm just hapi i'm tired but I don't care i'm still hapi :). hehe. My mom bought me this monopoly toy..it's so freaking awesome..she only got it for a dollar O.O it's an electronic monopoly..it talks too O.O it's creepy. Anyway, I miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis Gus so much :(. hee but I'm gonna see him again soon...
Here's my baby:
 |
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| 6/7/04 |
[Jun. 7th, 2004|11:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Love Roller Coaster - Red Hot Chili Peppers | ] |
Gus asked me out. I feel very happy :) I just hope it turns out well :). |
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| Another one |
[Jun. 7th, 2004|09:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
I'm really confused today. My bandmate is being an ass because I can't play that one song he did the way he wanted me to play it. I got home and my mom started nagging again how unettiquetal I am, and because I cleaned the bathroom the wrong way. I talked to Gus, god. That guy is confusing the hell out of me. He asked me out for a date this 17, and he told me that he's gonna decide from there whether he wants to go out with me or no. It hurts me because he told me he likes me I just don't understand why he tells me he likes me but he doesnt wanna go out because he's scared of having a new relationship. Gah. My dumbness is coming out. Anyway, I talked to Mike again, and he confused me too. I used to like him, really really liked him but then things changed. He started moving on, I don't know and right now we just both told each other what really happened between those "Weird Days" that we were kinda just like whatever. Now I feel kinda weird because I mean, some feelings are starting to come back, and he's probably like the only one who can really understand me, and knows me really well. Even Gus don't know things that Mike knows about me.
" I just want you to end up happy " |
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| What a boring day |
[Jun. 6th, 2004|09:37 pm] |
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Gah. I slept till 4 am this morning... I was talking to gus from 11 pm to 4 am...then I woke up at 9 am to go to church. uggh.. I was soo sleepy I can barely here what's going on in the church, and I dont even know what the priest was talking about. It was fun talking to him again :). Anyway, I slept again from 3pm then woke up at 7 pm, cause I haven't had any decent sleep this past week. Those stupid drivers keep on cutting without using their signal lights..AGAIN. pissing me off. Anyway, I still don't know how to comment on anime's livejournal. HA. There's school tomorrow. CRAP. ok. i'ma call him. aight bye. |
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| Dead |
[Jun. 5th, 2004|09:51 pm] |
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I'm sooo tired. I slept over Renee's house yesterday, and we didn't sleep till 1 am. Gus was there..and me and him had fun time together ;)..I won't elaborate further.. :P but god. I miss Gus so much. I really like that guy. We both went to No Future with his friend Johnny cause Renee and Rose went somewhere. But they went to No Future too and I saw Jill and some people from my school. Stephanie was also there, Tirza, Sarah and others, Sarah was all talking about some guy he met again nonstop but it's koo. Anyways, so Mike and Amber came too and we hung out, it was sooo fun, but they didn't sleep over just me and Rose. Then, We woke up at 6 am this morning because me and Renee had to take SAT's, and Rose stayed at her house. We finished at 1 pm, and her mom took me home; When I got home, me and my mom watched harry potter, and then we went shopping ... god.. i got so frustrated awhile ago because I can't find my pants size.. all those pants won't fit me. I had to go to children's section but then all they have is fucking dog shirts and "princess lulu" shit. And they're all small, like the shirt goes up to my diaphragm. Anyway, i'm just really tired right now, and I havent had any decent sleep. Oh yeah btw, I did 7 tattoos last friday. |
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| We finished the song |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|07:37 pm] |
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Haha. Leo got fucked up during 4th period, it's the first time he tweaked. He told me he ran around the classroom and just dont know what on earth he's talking about; heart beating really fast and all. Oh well. Anyway, we finished our new other song, we just need a title for it and he needs to improvise on the solo part. Playing rhythm rocks. Gaah. My left hand fingers hurts. I talked to Gus last night from 8 in the evening to 1 am. God. Time passes really fast when you talk to someone you really like. Anyway, so that's about it, it's 7:41 pm hrm I dunno if I'm going with leo tomorrow to buy pedals. And I wanna go to No Future this friday...i'ma see Gus...heee i'm so happy :) ok laterz. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2004|07:02 pm] |
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Today I jammed with Leo, and Shawn came too. I was in his house for like 4 hours. We wrote a new song but it's not done yet. I need more practice too. Yesterday I was playing Alice in Chains It's freaking hot in here, probably like 85 degrees inside this very room and 95 outside. Anyway, Gus got a new BMW and it's a stick I wonder if he would keep it or get the Supra instead. I told him I wanna drive it He was like "uumm..sure just don't crash" hahah. I can drive that car but just not in the freeway..driving stick in the freeway is scary o.O anyway right now i'm waiting for SDF release. I talked to anime in com, he's really cool. He's one of the most decent teenagers in sdf. GAH. SO FREAKING HOT. ok I shall close this log before I bitch and write a thesis on How Hot It Is In California. |
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